Growing up, I’d always, whenever entering a department store, head straight for the toy aisle. I knew that one day I would grow out of such things; adults told me so, and they would know, right, as they had reached adulthood and I had not? This troubled my little child brain. I didn’t WANT to outgrow my love for toys, for play. Like body hair and old age, I feared my body would betray me. It would force me into adulthood whether I liked it or not, whether I agreed with it or not. It was tantamount to being taken over by one of the pod people from INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. I found it repellent, horrifying, even. Wait till you hit your teens, people would say. You’ll discover girls and forget all abut toys. Welp, I did hit my teens. I did discover girls, although I didn’t get to discover near as much about them as I wanted to. But I didn’t outgrow toys. Today I am in my mid-forties. And whenever I enter a department store, I head straight for the toy aisle first. If this subversive thing called “adulthood” hasn’t gotten me by this point, it’s safe to say I am immune to it. I have conquered, adulthood! You may have taken my hair and my innocence, but you’ll never completely overcome my childish nature!

What’s all this rambling about, you ask? It’s just a preamble to me telling you that, this past week, when I had to stop at a department store for some necessities, and I found my way to the toy department, I chanced upon these little cuties. They are called “Zomlings” and they are adorable. Naturally I had to purchase a couple.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.