Zombies are Offensive? Get real!

I try to maintain proper perspective. I remind myself that Socrates was penning his hand-wringing concerns over the youth of the day—“I just don’t know what’s to become of society!”—well over two thousand years ago. I recall something that comics legend and novelist Peter David once wrote; to paraphrase, the “good ol’ days” weren’t THAT good, and the present isn’t THAT bad. I know this is all true. Still, I can’t help but despair a little bit over the fact that America, the greatest country in the history of the world, the bravest country, has devolved into a nation of whiny little PC crybabies with entitlement issues. (I know this is a MAJOR overgeneralization, but I’m speaking of my perceptions of the reality, not the reality itself, and it seems like every time I turn around here lately, somebody’s whining, bitching, or complaining about something “offending” them.

The latest example was a zombie-themed Halloween decoration on a lawn in the town of Katy, Texas. The scene portrays zombie babies in a crib, with a zombie mother watching over the little putrefying darlings. I remember somebody complaining about a zombie Nativity scene a couple of years back, but this is a freakin’ HALLOWEEN decoration! Get the f*ck over yourself, people! Homeowners have the right to put whatever the hell they want on their own front lawns, whether that offends somebody or doesn’t. You should be thankful that what they chose to display is something so innocuous and silly. If I were those homeowners, I’d keep the zombies out all year, now, just to spite the whiners.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.