Zombie Christmas

Let us all be honest, now. If you set up a zombie-themed Nativity scene in your front yard, it tells the world a few things about you. First, it tells us that you have a somewhat off-kilter sense of humor. It also tells us you really like zombies. And it is a safe bet, if you do it, that you are hoping to draw attention to yourself, and quite possibly to piss people off. It’s a logical assumption that people ARE going to get offended; you can’t put up the undead depiction of an undead savior being born, surrounded by decomposing animals in a stable, while being visited by zombie shepherds and offered gifts from zombie Magi, without fully anticipating that your “interpretation” is going to rub people the wrong way. Don’t even try to play innocent.

That said, I think the biblethumpers need to calm down. It’s a joke. Protesters at the Zombie Nativity scene are handing out pamphlets that state: “GOD FROWNS UPON THIS MANGER SCENE. Jesus has supreme power over death and evil; he is not a zombie.” Do they REALLY feel it necessary to tell people that last part? As far the first part goes, how can they be so sure? Do they get to speak for God? If they assert that God speaks through the Bible, well, there are no anti-zombie passages in the Bible, so there’s that. Personally I figure God has more important things to worry about. The protesters need to get a life; the plastic zombies seem to have more of a life than they do.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.