WWE Zombies

I used to be a HUGE wrestling mark, growing up. In fact the use of the term “mark” to denote a “fan” is only one homage carrying over from my days spent as a mark. Back in the 80s, when Hulk Hogan ruled the world, wrestlers were superheroes, and my favorites always bounced back from injury like they were made of the same rubber as my collection of Wrestling Superstars action figures. Those were innocent days. The Internet made kayfabe (the separate, created reality of the wrestling world) an impossibility, and seeing half the guys I used to cheer on from my living room back then die far too young in the coming decades, from heart attacks linked to steroid use, from drug addiction, from suicide robbed me of my ability to achieve suspension of disbelief. I’ll still occasionally watch wrestling on TV and I still find it entertaining. My nephew even became a professional wrestler. But it isn’t the same. I can’t look at those guys now and see superheroes. I see real human beings, and can’t pretend that they don’t sometimes really get hurt.

Anyway, this site is about zombies, not wrestling. As I was perusing the toy aisle at my local Wallymart the other day, I chanced to see that World Wrestling Entertainment has released a series of new “zombie-fied” wrestler figures. My favorite is the Triple H zombie, but I love them all. And I can enjoy them without having to worry about the health and well-being of the guys represented. I don’t have to worry about them dying young—because they’re already dead. Yes, make-believe is a lot more fun than reality. #zombiekayfabe

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.