States Ranked By Zombie Survivability

That’s the survival of people we’re talking about, not the survival of zombies.

Which do you think would be better, to live in the country or to live in the big city? I’d think the more remote you are, the better your chances. In a big city, with people packed in like sardines, the zombie virus would spread like pinkeye. I’d figure, then, that some state like Nevada would be ideal. I just took a trip to Nevada, and outside the big cities like Reno and Vegas, there ain’t NOTHIN’. No people equals no zombies, right? Or maybe Alaska. There are places in Alaska you can only get to by airplane. Zombies can’t fly airplanes.

All fifty states are ranked in this compilation. I won’t list them all, but if you live in Rhode Island, you are screwed. California you wouldn’t expect to rank too high on the list, and it doesn’t. But Iowa? The lower population density doesn’t make up for the fact that the terrain is so flat, ergo there aren’t any places to hide from zombies. (How did Kansas rank ahead of Iowa?) My own home state came in at 31. Lots of guns in Alabama, but lots of stupid people, too. Rednecks are just as likely to mistakenly shoot you as to shoot a zombie. What state made number one? Montana. Bully for them–but isn’t Montana freakin’ COLD ten months out of the year?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.