Killing your Ex in Effigy

As I’ve stated in the past, I don’t watch a lot of television. Excepting certain genre programs, if I have the boobtube on at all, chances are I’m watching something on Investigation Discovery or, barring that, one of the other Discovery Channel subsidiaries. I’ve seen shows like MYTHBUSTERS use those freakily realistic human anatomy dummies, complete with see-through skin and faux skeletons inside. They sometimes use them during SHARK WEEK to study and simulate the effects of a shark’s bite on human flesh. (Sometimes they use pig carcasses.) I admit, when I see a mechanical shark’s jaws clamp down on one of those fake legs, or a sword cut through one of them, I get a little thrill. It’s visceral, primal. And it’s safe, because you know you’re not seeing a REAL human body subjected to such treatment.

I understand, then, the popularity of lifelike “zombie” shooting targets that bleed when you plug ‘em. Sure I do. But like many others, I find the creation and sale of an “ex girlfriend” model to be in questionable taste. Letting a guy blow away a lifelike model of a woman might hit a little too close to reality. Then again, the company creating these targets, Zombie Industries, once made one of President Obama, so an adherence to decorum hardly seems part of their pedigree. Like the Obama zombie target, the ex girlfriend model has been pulled from the market. Anti-government anarchists and misogynists will just have to use their imaginations for target practice from here on out.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.