I never got into the whole moral objection over-slash-righteous indignation directed against GRAND THEFT AUTO. Amoral? Sure. But it’s JUST a game. The same as with Horror movies or anything else, if someone is going to be set off to commit an act of violence in the real world over a video game, that person is mentally deranged and could be set off by ANYthing. I don’t even blame Marilyn Manson for the school shootings that have been carried out in his name, even though he preaches nihilism and stokes anger in his followers. (Or should that be “stoked” and “preached,” past tense? Does he even have followers anymore? Is he even still alive?) Anyway, I never got all worked up over GTA, but neither was I ever a fan. It never did anything for me. I stuck with GOD OF WAR for my violent pixilated entertainment. Hacking into mythological monsters was way more fun than shooting hookers.

I would totally play this game, though. If it really existed. GRAND THEFT AUTO—with ZOMBIES! Why did no one ever get around to making that happen? What could be more perfect than that hooker murdered by the central character in GTA returning as a zombie for some much-deserved payback?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of Evil Cheez Productions ( - - specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. And he really likes vampires and werewolves. Like, a LOT.